Author Archives: sjpowers

How Organizing Can Help When You Can’t Give Up Your Stuff

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by Marilyn Labendz

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Need help? If you can’t give up your stuff, you do!

Having just listened to George Carlin’s routine about “Stuff,” I found it funny and true. As he says, “Houses are just piles of your stuff with covers on them.” And should you get robbed, “while going out to get more stuff, they only take the good stuff. Nobody else wants your 4th grade math papers!”

Organizing or Downsizing, the dilemmas and the decisions are the same.

Ask yourself:

  1. What defines me?
  2. What are my prized possessions…(Or do they possess me?)
  3. If I had to leave in a hurry, what could I not part with?
  4. What items do I have that I haven’t looked at or used in the past year or two…or ten?
  5. What things are worth the physical and financial cost of moving from place to place?
  6. Can I rise to the challenge to…

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Weighing on My Mind

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'I'm scared that there's a fat woman outside of me, trying to get in.'

By Guest Blogger: The Oldest Living Middle-Aged Writer

 I’m closing in on losing 50 pounds as we begin 2015, and while I have more poundage to lose, I am close to my goal. Just last night I found a hip bone and my happiness bordered on that of an anthropologist unearthing the hip bone of a prehistoric mastodon.

As someone who has read every story available on how to lose weight, I’m sure you’d like to know how I did it. You want to see before and after pictures. You want to know if I have found a simple, painless way to lose weight. Well, get used to disappointment. I didn’t find it and pictures are not yet available.

I also didn’t have an epiphany. I simply got on the scale one day and clearly saw that there was no ceiling on gaining weight. Left to my own devices, I…

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It’s the Bomb (worth reposting)

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I’m clearly an addict. First it was reading, then cigarettes, then alcohol, then cars, then men, then writing, then fast cars, then fast men, then women, then fast women, then more reading, writing…. Ok, I embellish some. Ok, maybe a lot. Sorry. It’s the fiction writer in me. But I have always been a reader and a writer, in love with words.

Now my addictions have reached new heights: to the FB word game, Lexulous. Which like my other addictions, got me the first time out, now totaling more than 2200 games. I can’t seem to turn away from it, though why I would want to is beyond me.

See, this word game has got a UK dictionary, which is the bomb. Ever hear of Ch? Qi? Qa? Ky? All perfectly wonderful UK words! Which is a big deal to me, because when I was addicted to board games, I was always swearing something like these were words, and the U.S. dictionary was always disagreeing. Now that I’m playing a word game with a UK dictionary, well what can I say but oh joy!

Of course Lex isn’t perfect. First, you can only play this game with your FB friends, so if you don’t join the ‘club,’ you can’t play. Which is very junior high, a place I don’t care to go back to. Second, it’s quite temperamental and changeable (for the simple sake of change, no less), and when it’s totally out of sorts, might be unavailable for the entire day!

But I’ll say this, unlike some of my other addictions, it’s not harmful to me or to others (unless I’m playing Lex while driving – not!), nor is it selfish or jealous. If I want to play a little Wordscraper, Lex or Words with Friends, for instance, it doesn’t get angry and shut down. Plus I have friends who like Lex as much, or nearly as much, as I do. Which makes life a little easier than if they scorned it, ya know?

Plus it’s free. No upkeep. No ashes. No cleaning up after. No arguments. No woozy head. No rejections, proofreading, or revisions— just pure word play!

Best of all, Lex has tiles the cats can’t walk across or place their little butts on. Ah, heaven!

So…game on!

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We can be FB friends if you want to play Lex with me. You can also find me at https://www.facebook.com/sjpstories. (Yes, the shameless promoting begins – ugh!)

One or Two More Stories….

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I have one or two more stories to update and that’s it! I’m sending my book of linked stories, A Surprising Measure of Sadness, out to get published.

That is, sending it once again. Unfortunately, I have sent it out before two of the stories were updated per my writing group. My writing group is the best thing that’s happened to me. Their comments and their critiques have been invaluable. Meanwhile, I didn’t wait. Oh well. There are still publishers who Will (stay positive!) publish my book of stories.

It takes months, even years, for stories, not to mention a book of stories, to get published. So I’m not getting my hopes up that it will be published in 2018.

One of the stories in the next book I’m writing got a comment from the famous author Aimee Bender. (How that happened is another story.) I’ve sent this story out numerous times. But as my first writing teacher told me it takes maybe 20 tries before a story gets published.

I’m still sending out the stories in my current book out for publishing. I have 15 stories published, but not all of them are going into my current book of stories because I can’t linked them to the other stories. I have written a couple of new short stories that will go into the next book. Meanwhile, I’m continuing to read because reading is the only way I can get inspired to write.

This coming weekend my writing group meets and I’ve submitted the two stories that need updating for my current book. Once they’re updated I hope to be able to send out A Surprising Measure of Subliminal Sadness.

Wish me luck!

Your Writing Mind: An exercise

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Do you need inspiration to write? Here are some ideas.

Write a short story, poem, a blog or novel using these:

  • A person who will do whatever it takes;
  • An eavesdropper;
  • A snob;
  • A person who will do what it takes;
  • The first day of school;
  • The third day without sleep

Here’s another idea. To get to the point where you’re writing without your editorial mind, lay some paper in front of you with a pen or pencil. Don’t open your computer. You’ll want to just write with one of your hands.

Then put your left hand behind your back. The left hand (or right hand if you are a lefty) is your editor for this exercise. You don’t want you editor to rise while your writing. You just want to keep writing without lifting your pen or pencil, even if the result isn’t anything you’d want to share.

Look around you for a moment. Then start writing.

This exercise opens your writing mind. And what you write may not come to anything, but at least you’re writing. Do this daily and eventually something will click and before you know it, you’ve gotten a poem, short story, etc.

If any of these ideas work for you, let me know.

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Sue Powers has had many stories published in zines and magazines. She is also a recipient of a fellowship prize from the Illinois Arts Council in Prose and two of her stories were nominated for the Pushcart Prize.

Our Heat and its Various Complications

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7:30 a.m.

The boiler conked out a few days after we moved in. So now I’m sitting on a heating pad while I write this because it’s 34 degrees outside but inside it feels like 20. I’m wearing many layers, and it still feels like 20 degrees.

The Skokie Valley Air Control will be here in about twenty minutes to get the heat going. The President of our Board says it should take around 3 and 1/2 more hours before we get heat. We’ll also get two radiators to replace one that’s not working and the other that simply wasn’t there.

8:20 a.m.

The men are here to install our two refurbished radiators. Meanwhile, our cat Scoutie, is hissing. The men are moving our dining room furniture while I tried to nail just one picture into our plaster walls. Seems like we’ll need to drill into the wall first.

I see the men are staring at the dining room radiator. Now I hear them discussing where to put the old radiator and how to get it out of our condo. There’s a lot of discussion going on now about how to get the radiator off the floor and where to put it.

8:50 a.m.

The old radiator is on a big dolly as they wheel it out the back door. The back door is open now and the cold air is coming in. Better turn up my heating pad.

Now the new radiator is installed. But the floorboard next and beneath it needs work.

Our New Dining Room Radiator

As I move into the living room, I see the old radiator cover is still there. I’m sure they will remove it once they get the old radiator on their trunk.

Now I’m musing why we moved in this weather. Buy this condo “talked” to us. It’s got large dark molding, wood floors, a few curved archways, two large closets and large bedrooms. So large we now need more furniture!

9:15 a.m.

The back door is now open as they bring in a new radiator. It’s a reconditioned aluminum radiator.

Now that the old radiator is out, I decided to sweep the dirt away. But it’s not dirt. In fact the molding behind the radiator is ruined and floor beneath is gray, likely from the heat. Somehow, we’ll have to fix this.

9:30 a.m.

Got a call about the delivery of our new appliances. Seems they still had the date of delivery set for this week. So I had to push back the date to January 17th, two weeks after our new kitchen floor will be in.

This causes a new wrinkle. I’ve let the man who is going to install the floor know about this date. He says, “We can see how it goes. Let’s leave it alone for now.”

10:00 a.m.

Since this is an old building, there’s a metal plate in the wall in our living room. Around it are holes in the wall. So the wife of the President of the Board brought in a guy to take out the plate and fix the wall.

Metal Plate in the Wall

The problem is he can’t take out the plate without leaving a gaping hole in our large, brown floorboard. However, he said he will find some kind of solution even though we’ll still have the metal plate.

10:15 a.m.

I was about to drive to the store. But Air Control truck is blocking the garage. Guess I’ll wait.

10:30 a.m.

We’ve been promised we’ll have heat soon.

1:30 p.m. We have heat!

New Boiler!

 

Our Boiler Situation

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It all began with our inspector who didn’t note or put in his report that the boiler in our building is old and ready to conk out. In other words, he didn’t estimate the lifespan of our boiler.

The average lifespan of a boiler is 10 to 15 years. But our boiler is older than that. In fact, it’s 20 years old! The inspector should have noted this, and of course he didn’t. Which means he’s culpable for at least part, if not all, of our cost of a new boiler.

Additionally, we had to call the Skokie Air Control people because the radiator in our dining room isn’t working. He found out it has a huge hole in it, another thing our inspector didn’t see or put in his report. Also there’s no radiator in the master bedroom. The Air Control guy said the previous owner must have stolen it. I believe it just wasn’t working and the previous owner had it taken out.

Now we have buy two new radiators and pay a portion of the new boiler. The President of our Board is doing everything he can to get us a new boiler and by next week we should have one. However, for the length of the time it’s being put in – a full day – we’ll have no heat. So we’ve had to buy a new heater.

Meanwhile, we’ve contacted our lawyer to get compensation from our inspector. This means we have to supply him with the cost of the new boiler, the radiators and the new heater we need to buy so we can recourse from the inspector.

On the plus side, we still have heat but it’s sporadic. Plus our new boiler will use less gas and less water. This is a great benefit to the building and our association fees.

If there are any other complications with our boiler – old or new – I’ll keep you posted.

Signing off now…..

Sue Powers

The Authentic Tragedy of Speedy The Snail

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Guest Post by Marc Ross ©2015

Several years ago my wife and I, while living in our first apartment, had next-door friends, Dave and Brookie, who were both frequently out of town. On a Friday I was invited into their kitchen and shown their latest prize, a small snail named Speedy, occupying the bottom of a large shallow bowl. He was, as Brookie explained, a fond pet that she had smuggled home on an airplane. They were once again going on vacation for a week and would I care for him.

“Of course,” I said, unsure of what that entailed. I was reassured that (a) he only needed a few daily drops of water and a pinch of fish food and (b) he would never leave the bowl. I reassured them that I would care for Speedy. They gave me their key and left the next day.

The following is, as best as I can reconstruct, is the letter that I left on their kitchen counter:

Dear Dave and Brookie,

Welcome home. I know that you will both be saddened by the absence of your beloved Speedy. I will attempt to explain.

On Saturday I dropped by and there he was in the bowl. I gave him water in an eye-dropper then gave him a pinch of fish food.

On Tuesday, I noticed that he had moved from the center of the bowl. Just getting some exercise, I thought.

By Wednesday he had ventured further, nearly to the bowl’s edge. That contradicted my understanding of Speedy’s mobility. I shrugged it off and picked him up gingerly by his shell, replacing him in the bowl’s center. Again, water, food, and done.

On Thursday I became alarmed. I could not find him. Detective that I am, I followed his tiny slime trail and discovered that he had suctioned to the underside of the bowl. Again…replace, water, food. I was becoming concerned. Had I been mistreating him or not following instructions?

Friday. I entered the kitchen with no small trepidation and switched on the light. The bowl was empty. As I approached I noticed an ominous vertical trail of slime on the wall. There he was, close to the ceiling. What a desperate effort he must have exerted.

I knew something had gone haywire. I stood on a chair and reached high to hold his shell between thumb and forefinger. He seemed attached to the wall by some force.

I jiggled his shell a bit to break the bond and then…he exploded. His insides had, under pressure, exerted themselves all over the kitchen and me. It was horrifying….like the Manson family had been there only with snails. I washed his remains from my hands and face and, I confess, ran from your apartment.

Judith explained to me that I had to return to the scene to clean it up, that you would both would be home Saturday. I knew that it was something needed doing and I hope you both feel that I did a thorough job in at least that small regard.

It must feel so terrible to lose a pet that you loved. I know I let you down and I feel responsible even though I don’t know exactly in what way. Judith and I wish we could bring him back so he’d continue “speeding” through your lives.

With deepest regrets and sympathy,
Marc

I dropped the hand-written letter into the late-Speedy’s dish and hoped that after this we’d still be friends.

Saturday morning there was a knock our door. I looked through the peephole and saw, however distorted, the faces of Dave and Brookie. Were those tears in their eyes? I opened the door.

They stood before me holding onto each other, my letter clutched in Dave’s hand, laughing that kind of soundless gasping laugh, tears indeed streaming from their eyes. Finally, Brookie collected herself, took the letter from Dave and pressed it into my hand. She managed to squeak out, “We don’t give a shit about Speedy!” Then they collapsed again into helpless laughter…

…laughter that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

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Marc Ross is a playwright, essayist, and actor. He’s had plays staged throughout the Chicagoland area, including The Sedgwick Stories and Button For Nuttin‘.

Our Move

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It all began with our wanting to move closer to the city where most of our friends live. So we went online and searched for condos or townhouses in or around the north side of Chicago. Finally a listing popped up and we decided to look at it.

The condo we looked at is like an old Chicago apartment: large rooms, gorgeous dark woodwork, curved archways, steam heat, many windows and wood floors. Plus a pantry and another one by the front door and we’re in a great location: downtown Skokie.

We decided to buy it. Then we had to sell our current condo. It sold within a day! But the people who buying our condo were selling their house on contingency.  We were selling on contingency too. However, it all worked out.

Now the packing began. What a mess! Finally, we closed and moved in, Now the unpacking began. Our movers were good but we’re still missing things. We’ve opened every box and things are still missing. Not important things, but still…

So now we began to enjoy our new condo, but the heat suddenly went off. The board president called in a guy who deals with boiler. He said the boiler was twenty-two years old so we shouldn’t be surprised it conked out. He also said we have a boiler that’s too large for a three-flat.  Now our board president is researching options. I hope he hurries.

In addition, the appliances and the floor need updating. This involves a great of money. But my friend, Joyce Davis, is a designer and she reassures me that once the updating is done we’ll have a gorgeous condo.

Meanwhile, I’m looking for ways to make money. Does anyone have a part-time job available?

Cheap Moisturizers for Women AND Men

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Why pay big bucks for a moisturizer when you can use Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Vit E Oil, Vaseline and any variety of cheap moisturizers you have in your house or can get at any store such as Aldi, Walmart, etc.

I use a Vitamin E cream I get at Walmart. It comes with two jars for under five dollars and I’m not allergic to it. If you have dry skin, you can (and probably should) wash your face in any of these products.

And while we’re speaking of faces, stay out of the sun to avoid wrinkles or skin cancer. One should also use a good suntan lotion such the one my dermatologist recommends: Eucerin Daily Protection. He recommends it because it contains zinc oxide and titanium dioxide. One can also wear a hat or carry an umbrella to avoid the sun as I’ve seen Carrie do on

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