By Guest Blogger: The Oldest Living Middle-Aged Writer

 I’m closing in on losing 50 pounds as we begin 2015, and while I have more poundage to lose, I am close to my goal. Just last night I found a hip bone and my happiness bordered on that of an anthropologist unearthing the hip bone of a prehistoric mastodon.

As someone who has read every story available on how to lose weight, I’m sure you’d like to know how I did it. You want to see before and after pictures. You want to know if I have found a simple, painless way to lose weight. Well, get used to disappointment. I didn’t find it and pictures are not yet available.

I also didn’t have an epiphany. I simply got on the scale one day and clearly saw that there was no ceiling on gaining weight. Left to my own devices, I…